Copenhagen, Denmark: Friends
I had arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark for the first time around mid-August 2015. I was about to begin my two-year Masters program in Geoscience at the University of Copenhagen (Købehavns Universitet) in September. Prior to the start of the semester, KU, short for Købehavns Universitet, organized a two-week welcome and introduction program for international newcomer students. This started off with a big amphitheater presentation and welcome event and then branched out into multiple trips and tours across campus and the city of Copenhagen.
Another part of their international students program was what they called the mentor program. This program basically paired volunteer second-year students with newcomers to form groups where the veterans could propose, organize and lead social/cultural events. All with the intent to help newcomers familiarize themselves with the local culture and help them settle into their new lives. This was all sponsored by the university.
Regarding their treatment of international students, I have nothing but praise for KU. Their international student integration programs were the best I’ve experienced. I’ve not only felt welcomed and at home from day one of stepping foot on their campus, but have made dozens of friends from across the world through their programs and events. That being said, for anyone reading this and considering applying for a study program at KU, I would highly, highly recommend it! Seriously, BEST University hands down!
Those first weeks at KU
One of the first mentor program events I attended was a cultural boat trip along Copenhagen’s canals. There I met up with a couple of students, Bjørn and Martin, whom I befriended during the welcome event. We got a full tour of the city sights along the canals and old city port.
The last week before September, KU held their annual welcome event to all students in their main courtyard on Nørregade 10. Since the university has four campuses spread across the city, it can be hard to track what’s going on where. But Nørregade 10 is where they have their old administrative center, student center and big library. It’s a beautiful old building with rich history, dating back to 1479, the founding year of the University of Copenhagen.
A friend for life
The dean gave his annual speech to a big crowd of local and international students after which we were free to roam around. Here I met up with other fellow students from the welcome event. One of them was an American guy by the name of Leo, whom I kept calling Steve, because I kept forgetting his name. I told him that I thought all Americans were called Steve. He loved it and suggested I instead call everyone Chad, just to annoy them.
Another student was a Nigerian guy name Oluwaseun Edward, who was also there to study Geology. I remembered him from back at the welcome presentation. He was the guy waving at me from a few rows away in the big amphitheater pointing to his tag and yelling out GEOLOGIST! We walked around exploring the halls of the old KU building together. Later on we grabbed a kebab from my favorite Turkish kebab place in Copenhagen. Afterwards we went on to discover every KU-students go to bar/café meetup place, Studenterhuset (Student House). My brother from another mother, father and continent, Eddy would become one of my best friends to date.
Several weeks later, Eddy and I would take the opportunity to visit Møns Klint through another KU mentor’s event. One of several “Klints” Møns Klint is a famous coastline on the island of Møn, a couple of hours south of Copenhagen. A favorite leisure destination for locals and foreigners alike, Møns Klint offers rocky beaches and hiking trails along a series of impeccably white chalky cliffs meeting the Baltic Sea.
More friends
Throughout that first semester, as well as the coming years, I’ve had endless memorable moments and stories from KU. There was the time I met Bjørn’s computer scientist gang during a tour of KU’s Frederiksberg campus. Among them were Ivo and Venko from Bulgaria who named my shitty bike “Shame”. Bogdan and Raluca from Romania and Martin and Klaudia from Slovakia.
We were quite a large group of students on the tour. At one point we were all heading towards one of their buildings on campus. If memory serves, the building had a set of revolving doors and a couple of normal ones. So for no apparent reason everyone starts lining up to those revolving doors and it’s just taking forever to get everyone in one by one. Baffled by this, I simply step out of line and head towards one of the free doors to go through. Later on I meet Raluca and Bogdan and when she finds out I’m from Romania she starts laughing out loud. She says she could have sworn I was Romanian the moment she saw me bypass that pointless que and head for the free door.
KU campus rocks!
There was another time when I found out about the “do-it-yourself student run bicycle repair shop” on KU campus. I briefly mentioned this in my previous post. After having some issues with my rusty old bucket of bolts bike named Shame, I ended up going to this shop quite a few times. I learned from other students there how to maintain and fix up bikes. There were a bunch of abandoned old bikes that could be scavenged for parts. Soon enough Shame had a shiny new chain, slick new rubber tires, a working hand break and a few other much needed components!
Even after finishing our studies two years later, my friends and I still spent time on campus and Studenterhuset. One of those times we had met a fellow aspiring guitarist from Hungary. After jamming out, we went to Studenterhuset for a few drinks. Once there we overheard that a girl at a neighboring table was celebrating her birthday. I don’t remember how, but so we ended up serenading her on the spot with a totally improv birthday song.
Truly I could go on and on… But at the heart of each story lay a common theme: Amazing people and fantastic friends!
The mentees become the mentors
Eddy and I began our first student semester as mentees at KU. We both participated in several fun events, like the ones I mentioned above. During this time we had the chance to meet a lot of new people, see new places and really get accustomed to Danish life. We both wanted to have a chance to help other newcomers and give them the same welcoming treatment that we got.
Thus, one year later, Eddy and I volunteered to be mentors at KU. Together with our common friend Irene, a Danish girl we met during our mentee days, we helped create and host various events for the new batch of mentees in 2016. From drinks and dinner nights, to Lego building and bike trips through Deer park.
Once more, we had the chance to meet a bunch of new people and forge even more friendships with students from across the world.
What about the Danes?
Thus far, I’ve mostly mentioned international students, but you might ask, what about the Danes? You may have heard, or read that Scandinavians in general are more cold and distant. Perhaps even unfriendly? Well, that’s completely false in my opinion.
Yes, as a foreigner you tend to find it easier to befriend other foreigners that are like you, alone, in an unfamiliar land. Also yes, Danes might be a bit more reserved, but not because they’re cold, or unfriendly. But because they grew up there and already have their friend-groups and all. You as the foreigner usually need to make those extra steps in the beginning to integrate into their world. But once you do, you will find that Danes are some of the nicest people you could ever meet.
Danish friends
My first attempt at befriending Danes was during one of our classes. We had to work on a task in groups and I ended up in a group with three Danes who were clearly good friends, Glenn, Jesper and Jonas. We were supposed to interpret a series of squiggly seismic lines. I made a stupid joke about how some of those lines looked like Batman. The three Danes laughed and said I joined the right group. Next thing I knew, Jesper and Glenn gave me gift for my birthday a couple of months later. This simple kind gesture will stay with me forever.
Then there was Lasse Gram, my good friend who in 2016 when I couldn’t find a place to stay after my dorm contract was up, offered me a room in his apartment. Then he would kick me out half a year later… No, no, I’m joking haha! I love ya Lasse old buddy! As I’m writing this, I recall one of my fondest memories with Lasse. It was years later at Copenhell Festival in 2019. After a long couple of days of concerts and drinking, we met up towards the end of last show. We sang along to Scorpions live performance of Winds of Change with our broken, tired voices. Brothers in arms and drinks forever!
There were many others, but I would also mention Irene again. The Danish girl I met through Eddy and the mentor program. Even though she moved to the UK for a while and later on I would move away from Denmark, we stayed in touch. In fact, we are in touch to this day and send each other memes on a regular basis.
The best period of my life
Years after moving from Denmark to Canada, I still think of my “Danish” years as the best period of my life. It was certainly not all sunshine and rainbows. I will touch upon the hardships of those years in some of my next posts. Yet still, I generally felt a lot happier than.
I’ve had these past years to reflect on why that is. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that it was because of all the amazing friends I had.
Don’t get me wrong, I had friends in Romania too and I now have friends in Canada. But Denmark was something else. I had groups upon groups of friends. From my Danish fellow Geologist friends, to the dozens and dozens of friends I made through Eddy and the mentor program, as well as my amazing computer scientist friends that I met through Bjørn.
When I started taking Danish classes in 2016, I met even more people there. Some like Thomas from Germany, or Subi from Nepal would leave and return to their countries soon after. But others like Marios from Greece would stick around long enough for us to hang out and become good friends.
In my last year in 2019, I had to attend a job center training course for a few months and even there I made new friends. I will never forget the laughs I had with Makis and Anestis during those days. Without even trying, I was more socially active those years than ever before and ever since.
Nothing lasts forever
Sadly, even the best of friendships can end in a glimpse. One of my best friends from Romania, would end up joining me and moving to Denmark in 2017. I couldn’t wait to integrate him in all of my friend groups. We had a great time for over a year. Yet something happened in 2018 between us that I still don’t fully understand. A falling out that broke what I thought was an unbreakable brotherly bond.
Without him ever fully explaining his reasoning, my understanding was that he had gotten upset over something I said during one of our nights out. He walked off and refused to speak to me, even though we had been close friends for a decade and lived together at that point in time. On my end I felt confused and disrespected. Then I felt betrayed. I became angry and unforgiving.
Later, I tried to make amends and to a certain degree it worked. Then one day he left and went back to Romania without ever telling me. Before all ties were broken forever, I sent him one last farewell message where I wished him the best in his future.
Just like that a decade-long friendship had been extinguished. Indeed, nothing lasts forever. My time in Denmark wasn’t destined to either. Not because I didn’t want it to, or try, but fate it seems had other plans. To end on a positive note however, I’m happy to say that all of the friendships I forged during my years in Denmark have stayed intact to date.
